How do you know when it's time
to tune your bagpipes ????

Here's a few jokes  for 
St. Patty's Day!

An Irishman had been drinking at a
pub all night. The bartender said
that the bar is closing. So the Irishman
stood up to leave fell flat on his face.
He tried to stand one more time; same result.
He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh
air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside, he stood up and fell on his
face again.  So he decided to crawl the
four blocks home. 

When he arrived at the door he stood up and
fell flat on his face. He crawled through the
door and into his bedroom.  When he reached his
bed he tried one more time to stand up.
This time he managed to pull himself upright,
but he quickly fell right into the bed and is
sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.  

He was awakened the next morning to his wife
standing over him, shouting,
"SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!" 

Putting on an innocent look, and intent on
bluffing it out he said,
"What makes you say that?"  

"The pub just called; you left your
wheelchair there again."

"I've Lost Me Luggage"

 
 An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and
wandered around the terminal with tears
streaming down his cheeks. An airline
employee asked him if he was
already homesick. "No," replied the Irishman.
"I've lost all me luggage!"
"How'd that happen?"  

"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.


 

 "Water to Wine"

 An Irish priest is driving down to New York and
gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
The state trooper smells alcohol on
the priest's breath and then sees an
empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. 
He says, "Sir, have
you been drinking?"  

"Just water," says the priest. 

The trooper says, "Then
why do I smell wine?"  

The priest looks at the bottle and says,
"Good Lord! He's done it again!"

 "The Brothel"

Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer
and watching the brothel across the street.
They saw a Baptist minister walk
into the brothel, and one of them said,
"Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the
cloth goin' bad."  

Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel,
and the other Irishman said,
"Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are
fallin' victim to temptation." 

Then they saw a catholic priest enter the brothel,
and oneof the Irishmen said,
"What a terrible pity... one of the girls
must be quite ill."

 

Irish Day Care

Nothin' like a Guiness Stout and a nap!

Famous Quotes

"Why do you Irish always answer a question with a
question?" asked President Franklin D. Roosevelt.
"Do we now?" came New York Mayor Al Smith's reply.

The problem with some people is that
when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
--William Butler Yeats

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to
be drunk to spend time with his friends.
--Ernest Hemingway

Drunk is feeling sophisticated
when you can't say it.
--Anonymous


Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
--Oscar Wilde

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me,
than a frontal lobotomy.
--Tom Waits

He was a wise man who invented beer.
--Plato

The problem with the world is that
everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart

Click Here - Recipes for Irish Whisky Pie & Irish Stew

...and here's a little sample of Irish tradition,

And last but not least,

 this cute one that's not so well known...

Here's to your coffin...

May your coffin have six
handles of finest silver!
May your coffin be carried
by six fair young maids!
And may your coffin be
made of finest wood from
a 100-year-old tree,
that I'll go plant tomorrow!

Bye! See you at the pub on St. Paddy's Day!

When you are in the market to buy or sell a home, remember to  call... 

Ann Joliet
Re/Max Realty Centre, Inc.
3423 Olney-Sandy Spring Road
Olney, Md.  20832

301-774-1415

Visit "Move2Olney.com"